Love the Hate: Slanted Sidewalk Stollers

Remember that expression, "step on a crack, break your mother's back?" I wish that applied to mostly everyone I encountered on 7th and 8th Avenues today. I understand that NYC sidewalks aren't the straightest but, seriously, how hard is it to walk in a straight line? The number of people who bumped into me today toppled a dozen, simply because everyone in Midtown decided they were going to zig and zag across the sidewalk like it was Cirque Du Soleil. Worse yet are the lolligaggers: the ones who stop in the middle of a crowded sidewalk to text, make a call, or stare in the windows of McDonalds as if they've never seen one before. Especially annoying when you carrying a shitload of groceries, and caught in the rain without an umbrella, and really have to pee, all of which happened to me today. It really makes me hate everyone, and got me to thinking: If jaywalking is considered a crime, shouldn't not moving out of the way for others be an equally punishable offense?