Remember that expression, "step on a crack, break your mother's back?" I wish that applied to mostly everyone I encountered on 7th and 8th Avenues today. I understand that NYC sidewalks aren't the straightest but, seriously, how hard is it to walk in a straight line? The number of people who bumped into me today toppled a dozen, simply because everyone in Midtown decided they were going to zig and zag across the sidewalk like it was Cirque Du Soleil. Worse yet are the lolligaggers: the ones who stop in the middle of a crowded sidewalk to text, make a call, or stare in the windows of McDonalds as if they've never seen one before. Especially annoying when you carrying a shitload of groceries, and caught in the rain without an umbrella, and really have to pee, all of which happened to me today. It really makes me hate everyone, and got me to thinking: If jaywalking is considered a crime, shouldn't not moving out of the way for others be an equally punishable offense?
When I was a kid, every so often a movie or television show would offer a special, high-tech treat known as "3-D." It was so cool, the equivalent of getting your dessert before dinner. These days, however, everything seems to be in 3-D. Movies about flying blue people, movies about ogres, and not even television shows, but actual televisions. The other day, I actually saw a poster for 3-D porn. Talk about sensory overload! Like Xanax and chocolate chip cookies, I think 3-D is best enjoyed in small doses. How do you "see" the topic?
Many people I know complain that the subway is a difficult system to navigate. Agreed. The first time I tried to go to Central Park via the B train, I nearly ended up in Brooklyn. But you get used to it. What I can't use to is the amount of stupid (or just plain rude) people who insisit on making my journey feel way longer than it needs to be. Here are a few basic rules I'd like to implement:
1) The subway is not a playground: That's right, moms and dads. If you have children, they should be seated next to you. Not bouncing in the seats or swinging on the poles. And speaking of poles...
2) The poles are not for strippers: Everyone needs to hold on. So ladies, please don't wrap your bodies around the poles, unless you expect me to shove a dollar in your crotch.
3) Please bathe. Even if you are homeless, New York is an island! Plenty of water to help you get clean. Nuff said.
What are some other rules you'd like create for the subway? Love the Hate would love to know!
Welcome to my new blog, which I fondly call "Love the Hate." According to my mother, to hate someone is to wish them dead. But what about hating a something, an act, a way of being? I don't see any harm in wishing away the things that annoy us, drive us to reach for our Xanax, frustrate us beyond repair. This is New York, afterall, and these things happen every other minute. So, rather than go to desperate measures, I want to provide an outlet to vent, make-fun of, and embrace the rage that fills us. In other words to, "Love the Hate."