As a reminder, here are some of the things I set out to do before 2013 came to a close:
1. Meet the love of my life; allow him to buy me a ridiculously overpriced Christmas present.
2. Finish the play I started in 2011.
3. Start the screenplay I've been thinking about since 2008.
4. Locate missing socks.
5. Join the gym.
6. Get famous.
7. Watch Breaking Bad.
8. Catch up in my journal.
9. Break up with the love of my life and write a play about it; keep ridiculously overpriced Christmas present.
Can you guess which ones I actually accomplished?
Okay, time's up. Here's an explanation and/or an excuse for each.
I tried. I went on three dates, which I made through three different forms of dating social media--Scruff, Hinge, and OK Cupid. If you're not familiar with these, here's a brief description:
Scruff - iphone app for men with facial hair to find other men with facial hair to hook up with. Non-facial hair is ok, too, because men are horny bastards.
Hinge - Takes your Facebook profile, scans it, and finds like-minded people in your extended social network to chat with. But, since most stuff on Facebook is bullshit, I doubt the authenticity of this one.
OK Cupid - Traditional dating Web site that I call, "Ok Stupid." Check it out for yourself if you're curious.
Now, the men. They are nice, friendly, and really chatty. Over text messages. In person, I was lucky to get a verb out of them.
2, 3, 4 & 5. FAIL
I don't have any real excuse except I was feeling lazy and unmotivated.
I made a list of a theater reviewer's favorite plays of 2013, and a friend e-mailed me to congratulate me on being famous. So, that counts...for now.
And, I really like the show, too--despite having nightmares about being dumped into a vat of boiling crystal meth chemicals.
Who has time to journal when you're watching Breaking Bad?
See explanation #1.
But, I did write a play about an imaginary boyfriend dying, so maybe I'll give myself a C for this one.
I think it may be time for a new list, anyway.
Mark Jason Williams
I find trouble wherever I go