Best Christmas Ever for the Broke

I'll admit it: I love Christmas. But, like my first-time, there's weeks and weeks of build up for a moment that lasts seven, maybe eight, minutes.

Christmas this year scares me. Last year, a freak chocking incident landed my father in the hospital for Christmas (and through New Years and into the spring, even) so I want him to be healthy and to have the best holiday ever. No pressure, right? 

I also haven't had a full-time job in nearly two years, so I'm worried about affording presents for people. My nieces, for example, told me they wanted an iphone and an ipad. They're five years old, by the way. Not going to happen.

So, I'm pulling the starving artist card this year, and coming up with ideas that don't cost a million dollars. Since this is the season of giving, I'm sharing these ideas with you: 

--Make your parents a photo calendar. Apple nerds: you can do this on your mac in under an hour, and its costs 25 bucks. Your mother will love you forever. Or at least for the next 12 months. If she has grandkids, include lots of pictures of them.

--Angry Birds Fans. Buy one of those piggie hats and a few stuffed birds. Put on the hat, and let your family throw the birds at you. Hours and hours of fun, guaranteed.

--Ask your sibling if they want a movie or CD, then illegally dowload it, and wrap it in a 10 dollar Dunkin Donuts gift card to make up for it.

--Sign someone up for a free trial of Netflix or Hulu Plus, or for those who are in need of dates, create an online profile on OK Cupid and act as a match-maker/image consultant.

--Tell someone you love them. And actually mean it. Best gift of all. 

Suck it, Santa Claus.