And I Said Oh-Kay: Animal Instincts
I recently said oh-kay to a day at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden with my good friend, Rebecca Wilson, writer and editor extraordinare. There wasn't much arm twisting involved with this decision. Maybe a little thumb wrestling. It was a beautiful day out and Rebecca is one of the smartest, coolest, insightful people I know. Just being around her made me come to an important conclusion: I'm a turtle in a koi pond.
So, what does that mean? No, I haven't hit the crack pipe again. It means that while dozens of koi were waiting for some human to feed them, the turtle barreled through the fish to get what he wants. I have no proof that the turtle was a he by the way, but since this story is more about me than the creature, let's just assume.
Staring at the koi made me think of the word coy. Shy, bashful, reluctant to take a stand. Secretive. Things that I used to be, but now drive me crazy.
Yet, I've realized that my brutual honesty and outspoken demeanor may
may be the reason I'm single. But what should I do, act like a Geisha just to get someone to date me? Not say what I feel because it means others will feel better about themselves? Get your head out of your shell, it's not going to happen.
So, if marriage and babies and white picket fences never happen either. Fine. As Dante once said, "The hottest place in Hell is reserved for those who in time of crisis remain neutral." And I don't believe in Hell. But if I did, I'd be one of those koi. Waiting patiently for something to happen and someone to take care of me. I'd rather be the turtle any day. At least I'll stand out.
9/16/2010 04:27:52 am
Seriously. And as long as you feel this way, you shouldn't try to be that coy koi. If somebody doesn't love how outspoken you are--or just can't deal with it--then I certainly hope, for their own sanity, that they'd realize that and hit the high road. But more importantly, for YOUR sanity, why spend the time dealing with that? You're living your life for you, and that's the way it should be. Congrats.
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Mark Jason Williams
I find trouble wherever I go